Last week 

So tomorrow i start my last week as an estate manager .i can already feel the stress bubbling inside  but i hope i can see the week through with not too much upset.  Its very strange to be leaving a job i am not going to miss.  Especially one i have tried so very hard to be good at.  And i have done a good job just a shame its not been appreciated but hey thats what happens when you work with joe public.   

My religious quest as ever is complicated.  My only real certainty is the sda are not for me.  I have never heard back from the pastor cant help but feel that is income related…….

As for the jw and christadelphians im unsure.  I cant get my head round no satan and alot of the videos the christadelphian produce are surrounding russia and syria.  So im  not.much further with my study there.

With the jw i get an uneasy feeling about their shunning and their strict policies of  holidays.  If you work with the public how do you avoid not becoming involved with  halloween and easter and christmas etc. I dont celebrate any of these but they are holidays and as such a time.for.families to get together.  That that is frowned upon. So my quest continues ……


Tithing – is this still relevant today? I know plenty of denominations who tithe but do the scriptures preach we should.

On my journey with SDA this has always been an issue for me and one that ultimately meant i stopped going to bible study.  My husband is a non believer . He doesnt mind me pursuing my faith but when the issue of tithing came up he was opposed.  I am the sole earner in my family due to my husband being disabled.  I don’t earn very much and we live month to month.  Sometimes not making it through the month without help.when i explained about sda tithing i can understand that he was opposed.   So i made the decision to stop my studies.  BUT i still watch sda TV and enjoy the various sermons on the internet
Last night while watching lets pray on my roku box i wondered which is more important to God . Me paying or not paying tithe or me accepting Jesus and paying what i can afford when i can afford it.  Surely the adventist life isnt all about tithing. Can you get kicked out for not tithing. What do adventists with non believing partners do.  If you do not get baptised are you duty bound to still tithe?

I feel alone trying to work through this but I will contibue to pray and hope God will give me an answer.

Its bye bye byetta

So my short time with byetta has come to a halt  within 3 days i had a hoarse voice and terrible scratching in my throat. I do have trouble woth chronic heartburn and take lansoprazole daily for this but didnt seem to work when taking byettea.  Have stopped injections today and will go back on my forixiga.  Sitaglipton and starlix tomorrow morning.  Have gp appointment on 4th august so will doscuss it with her then  . In the meantime i hope this settles quickly as it is waking me up at night with a scratchy throat. 

Going to try low carb high fat diet in a weeks time.  Need to seetle my stomach first 

Byetta day 2

Felt so rough yesterday.  My head was like cotton wool and i spent most of afternoon in bed.

Woke this morning to bad stomach and 3trips to loo before 7am. Its now just after 9 and feel swimmy head and bit of nausea hopefully today will be better than yesterday as functioning at work js goi g to be tricky if i feel like this


A few years ago i posted on here about a Franklin covey bag I was desperate to have.  Lovley Italian leather but quite pricey if you are on a tight budget……..Well in the Franklin Covey said bag was in the sale and now its in my possession…..upload photos later

1st injection of Byetta

So the day has arrived and my new life begins.  a life where i start to look after myself, take care of myself, try to love myself.

I wondered if i would hesitate with my first injection as it s been around 21 months since i last injected.   but it was ok, i slightly hesitated for maybe 2 seconds.  They have changed the needles now and I can honestly say i didnt feel a thing.

Its been about 30 mins since i injected and I had a small bowl of porridge for breakfast yet i feel like i have eaten a roast dinner!  so full up….i dont remember this last time but hey ho maybe its different this time.  I wasn’t on heart tablets last time so maybe that will make a difference?

I plan to document my journey over the next couple of weeks, in the hope that somebody else may read and identify with my journey.  i have been in counseling for around 4 years now and its been a long hard journey but I think i am beginning to make big changes,and feel more compassion for myself, hence starting up again with the correct diabetes medication and trying to put a stop to the self harm.  I don’t need to harm myself i have done nothing wrong Im just a product of losers, correction im now a product of my new creation…….I am who i want to be……………….almost!!!

Byetta take 3

So the eve before i start diabetic injections again  . Its been a while since inhave injected so i hope i dont have too much issue starting again.had to come off my existing  drugs today and my sugar at the moment is 23.6 bloody crazy huh😲i am hoping this drug will give me better control with not only my glucose but also my appetite. As this seems to have increased with my glucose levels . Need to kick start some more weight loss also as since the propanolol  i have gained about 5kg no extra weight gain is good for diabetes . Nervous but also ready for the challenge .