You were 44 and so too now am I……………..

So the age of discovery has arrived.  The golden age of 44 and still I don’t get it.  I don’t see how you could have been remotely interested in me, 14 and so so naive. so easy to persuade so easy to impress so easy to …………………….

I have often wondered if at age 44 something happens like a mid life crisis, a complete breakdown of personality a complete reversal of likes and hates.  But no….i feel the same, I still like Andy Bell from Erasure,(great show tonight btw, you still looking HOT!) I still like Dave gahan, i still like men, and still like them older than me……So I guess you had the problem, i suspect you always did and always will.  You’re 74 now and i bet the sick passion still lurks in your mind. I hope the guilt is rotting in your very core and I hope each night you never truly relax in your sleep. because one day, you will never know when…………one day you will have to answer to your sins.  You changed my life and as a result I’m trying to rebuild ……..rebuild,? maybe that’s the wrong word.  I’m, trying to work out who I should really be…………..

and Tavo……I missed you today but i know one day xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx .you look after them for me and tell them about a fish called wanda. xxxx

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