Give me a sign

So I pray that God will give me a sign. I pray that I’m selfish and need a definite sign that he exists. I know it’s selfish but I question so much, need so much proof and reassurance. I figure he won’t mind he knows how much study I do and that in my heart he knows I want to believe. I have been so hurt and deceived by humans I have no faith left in human beings and a closed heart. I have been searching for God so long  and so want to embrace the words of the Bible. But I hold back I question and I doubt. So I pray that God will see this and somehow show me a sign. Today I received the sign. I went to church unannounced. Didn’t get my friend to Greet me at the door just went in on my own. This may not seem much to most but I have no confidence in myself. Feel I shouldn’t be at church as I’m bad and don’t deserve forgiveness. So this is big I did this. Everybody at the church is lovely and welcoming The pastor had a projector which wouldn’t connect to his laptop to aid with delivering his sermon. So he had to abandon that sermon and deliver another. This sermon touched my heart I spent most  of the sermon fighting back tears as it overwhelmed me so much. A sermon of living in a valley of darkness. I m living in that valley of darkness. Just been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Can’t cope with my life and just want it all to stop. The pastor told that God is there with me and I truly believe he is. That even though I want to die and for it all to end, I don’t have to feel this way. I can believe that God is with me and helping me that God has a plan for me. I don’t know the plan but he has one for me. So I truly believe today that God showed me he exists, that sermon was meant to be said and it truly touched me and the devil will try hard to decieve but I believe God will be with me Amen

4 thoughts on “Give me a sign

  1. I thought I knew God for many years by listening to sermons, lessons, Bible studies, and television preachers. I didn’t know God. When i finally began to read the Bible through, a new world was open to me. A couple of years later, i read the Bible through again, and learned even more about Him. Each time I read from the Bible, I discover something new. God is infinite, and we will always learn more about Him, if we just take the time to study His word,

    Now, I have decided to spend more time in prayer. I tell our Father about my day, my problems, and my dreams. I am sure He already knows all of these things, but I feel better telling Him myself.

    At 56 years old, I am just now getting to know God. Regardless of church, fellowship, and sermons, we need that one on one personal time with Him. God Bless your journey!

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