I struggle with forgiveness. I find it hard to forgive myself for mistakes I make and I find it hard to forgive some people in my life.
If I forgive in my mind, it means the act was okay. If I forgive myself it almost like lets me off the hook and in my mind there are sine things that aee unfogivebale . I was watching pastor Doug Bachelor this morning and he was briefly talki g about forgiveness. Especially abiut forgiving yourself. He said he remembers things from his past that make him cringe. However he accepts that God has forgiven so he is not higher than God, so he should forgive himself. We need to receive Gods forgiveness and share his forgiveness. Matt 18:21-22. This is hard for me. I need to work so hard for this to work with me. I do not forgive myself.
Thank you Pastor Jonathan Burnett. This video really helped me to visit an unknown church and enjoy the experience.
So I understand that some SDA services conduct foot washing. Not sure what happens or why? Would be great if any Adventists would like to reply.
I have been a little absent recently. My counselling is now coming to an end after so many years. Life for a while will be very strange without my weekly sessions. But I truly believe that I have some great tools and feel equipped to face lifes adversity without my counsellor. God has given me so much strength to make the changes in my thought processes and even though I have not committed myself to one denomination, I have strengthened my belief and faith with God.
I guess not being brought up in a denomination makes it quite hard to decide which is the truth. There are some literal interpretations of the Bible that leave me cold and some that make absolute sense. I guess for me, it will end up with the closest I believe makes sense to me.
Should a denomination make you feel like you cannot be less than perfect. I truly accept our sinful nature and try as hard as we do, we all sin. I accept this. This does not mean its an excuse to sin rather an understanding why we find it hard to not sin. However i cannot accept that people are then cast out of their denomination and ignored or told they will suffer in Hell for ever. That is not what God wants for us.
Surely it is our place to not judge or punish but to support and encourage one another on this journey to hopefully eternal life.
Just watched Pastor Byrd and felt compelled to share. Im one for complaining Im a half glass empty kind of person. I moan about this and I moan about that ,I make situations 100 times worse because I moan and complain. Todays sermon I watched was about identifying your thorn and recognising that God may leave the thorn so that it makes you more Holy. When I first started to watch this sermon I thought how could God do that . Why would he want people to suffer but as I watched it became more apparent to me that the scripture 2 peter 3:9 is evidence of this. I can identify that my thorn is bpd. It affects my life so much but what it has also done now is draw me closer to God as I ask him daily to help me deal with the confusion and chaos bpd can bring to me. If God wants to save me then my thorn has a positive spin about it. This is what is drawing me closer to him. It may be hard to bear now but God allows it to stay there for a reason. He wants me to be saved and he wants me to assist to save others ………..this is a huge revelation to me today. Thank you God for using Pastor Carlton Byrd to deliver this message. It has helped me to take a different look at my thorn.
I forgot I had this book. Found it this evening . I plan to start reading and blog on my thoughts.
I have oesophagitis reflux gastritis and erosions. At least I know why i have pain and acid. Cant say endoscopy is top of my bucket list but it was tolerable. Got to up my ppi to keep the acid from causing more damage.
On more postive news I was offered the job. 30 hours over 4 days and 3 days in office and 1 as locum, sounds really exciting and looking forward to starting.
Be glad to leave this current role as too much stress and agrivation which will only lead to more stomach issues. About time I tried to calm my life down now and stop all the stress that goes on. Too much of my body is being affected by stress.
I watched a good sermon today by Pastor Doug Batchelor about the Ten Commandments. How they are there for us to recognise sin. It made a lot of sense to me and I hope it will help me to look at things in a more biblical way.
So tomorrow i start my last week as an estate manager .i can already feel the stress bubbling inside but i hope i can see the week through with not too much upset. Its very strange to be leaving a job i am not going to miss. Especially one i have tried so very hard to be good at. And i have done a good job just a shame its not been appreciated but hey thats what happens when you work with joe public.
My religious quest as ever is complicated. My only real certainty is the sda are not for me. I have never heard back from the pastor cant help but feel that is income related…….
As for the jw and christadelphians im unsure. I cant get my head round no satan and alot of the videos the christadelphian produce are surrounding russia and syria. So im not.much further with my study there.
With the jw i get an uneasy feeling about their shunning and their strict policies of holidays. If you work with the public how do you avoid not becoming involved with halloween and easter and christmas etc. I dont celebrate any of these but they are holidays and as such a time.for.families to get together. That worries.me that is frowned upon. So my quest continues ……